why would anyone want to choose this path?

when its easier to gloss over the pain with tv, addictions, and other low vibe things.

Well for years, I have had many addictions, and love to get into a series on tv or netflix and lose myself, call it disassociation of reality. Sometimes Netflix is needed don’t get me wrong, in moderation.

Even in the last few days have I restarted down this path of self discovery. I had an amazing therapist Brian Kurtz healedbyspirit.com, I did a 90 min session once a week for 2 years. I have taken his level 1 healing course too. He has helped me thru identity stuff, finding boundaries, using my voice, discernment and have taken his shadow workshop. All in attempts to know that I am good just how I show up! That I am loved however I show up. Which at times I find very helpful even today. If no one reads these words, that is also good. A friend of mine just explained the need of non attachment, which I should focus on during my writings, as I struggle with validation. so yes, gonna focus my writings in a non attached way and just put it out there, like how an artist paints a picture and just puts it out there for anyone to see. writing is my art and here I am just putting it out there.

Why this path of self discovery? for one, it allows me to put my thoughts into word form and on paper so I can go back and read them over and over again, in attempts to gain insight into my thought patterns, and over time these patterns will heal, and also may spark insight into other patterns that I may have missed in an attempt to be the best version of myself. A version that is so empathetic.

I strive in life to be more empathetic and have true empathy with all living things. I feel empathy is such a beautiful concept, and to some it comes naturally and to others its a learned skill. I feel we ALL have a form of empathy but I strive to have that ache in my heart and to be wide open to feel it all! Call me weird, but I want to be tapped into it ALL!!!

Why this Path, the path of enlightenment? When I think about enlightenment, I think of unconditional love. the ability to have love for all, which is like the same of empathy in a sense. but also different. Love is to be given freely without anything in return, empathy is to feel the love of others and the pain and sadness. also the idea is to feel anothers emotions and also realize they are not my emotions to bear the pain or take them on. I strive to get to a place of being healthy in mind / body / spirit to practice unconditonal love all the time! What I am working towards. going to take a lot of self love to get there.

Attachment styles! another one of my pain points! I have all 3 secure, anxious, and avoidant. This will be topics of other posts going forward. I read the book Attached, great book, a must read. I want to get to a place of secure attachment all the way around but that starts with me! Can’t love another if I am off internally. hence why this blog got started. lol

why this path? why not! If I was gonna go after a dream or purpose in my life, what not a better thing to go after than becoming a beacon of light for others by healing my wounds. I have read my human design charts and I’m destined to change the world as we know it and I can’t do that being internally / spiritually wounded.

Thank You whoever read this far, and welcome to my journey of healing as we will need others to help change the world too.