a friend of mine told me “you are the one that has to walk thru your own shoes.”
I have now changed the word from I have to, of that “I get to”
Get to is to be grateful of the work that I’m allowing myself to do. Before I corrected this statement I put, “allowing myself to go thru the work” “go thru” sounds forced in my opinion
another friend of mine told me “words are spellings, and the root of spelling is spell” to cast a spell. So I tend to change my phrasing as this life, and how I choose to walk this path is a choice, not an obligation.
To walk this path to not be the person I was last week, month, year, or a past lifetime. It’s a solo journey into one’s behavior, mind, and action. The good news is it can be a group thing too, as surrounding yourself with people that lift you up.
I thought about deleting this post as it may sound a bit debbie downer but to be authentic is to share the good with the mucky waters to get to a place of clarity and build inner strength,.
It is so easy for me NOT to do the WORK as how its spelled out, this is work, a deep commitment to oneself of not glossing over the person I was and the person I strive to be.
yes, I could look at this in a different way and instead of lonely like its a bad thing, could rephrase it as a time I get to spend alone doing the work.
yes, I should be outside tending to gardens, pulling weeds, harvesting crops, as just a few days ago we had over 75 organic cucumbers on the kitchen table in my house. and I know the tomatoes are ripening and the basil needs pruning. yes all things that need to be done, but I’m choosing to be painting, writing, watching some tv, and being with myself
tomorrow is a day of digging a 100ft trench 18″ deep to run piping. so I should be grateful of what I get to do, instead of manual labor.
so the thought process on my title was good as it helped me reframe my thoughts and processes.
good day
Authentic and Free to be me 